We struggle to let go of things that are out of our control. We feel this way because we are wired to protect ourselves. This is natural. It’s also the reason why some people find it easier than others to let go of their worries, stress, and burdens.
We are all unique in the way that we cope with anxiety and feel safe in our surroundings. Coping with anxiety is a personal experience. One that is different for everyone. We all have different triggers, coping skills, and what makes us feel safe in certain situations.
The Many Faces of Letting Go
For many people, letting go of the uncontrollable can be difficult to do. They may not want to relinquish control of their lives to an external force. This is often seen in the context of religion or spirituality, but this mentality also applies to broader life-changing situations or experiences that cannot be controlled by oneself or one’s own actions.
Many people find it difficult to let go of the notion that they are in control of their lives and destiny, but there are some who have found peace in this acceptance.
With many uncertainties looming now and into the future, people are now thinking about how much control they really have over their lives – whether it’s through political decisions, economic setbacks, technological advancements and others.
The Importance of Letting Go
When we learn to let go, not to be confused with carelessness, we can let things flow, give ourselves the opportunity to learn from them, charge the battery and get back to work with new ideas. When we focus on doing things our way, we take away the experience of exploring other ways.
It’s important to know what you want, but don’t confuse the point of your goal with the strategy to reach it. Each goal has many strategies. You get flexibility when you let go. We recognize and experience that we don’t always have to lead things in one or the other direction to avoid catastrophe.
Perhaps different from what you had imagined before, there is always an opportunity to recover and redirect in a more fruitful way. It opens us into a different relationship with time and weakens our sense of urgency, which often leads to rush decisions and improper behavior.
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The idea of letting go of those negative emotions may sound like defeat, or you are giving up- like, somehow tolerate past events by letting go of it now. Resistance cannot change the simple facts of the past, but it does not have to ruin the present or future by living in constant remorse, anger, or fear of these past events. If you really think about it, you are the only one who suffers when you hold on to these negative emotions.
Learning the difference between what we can and can’t control
For us to learn how to let things go, it’s essential to distinguish what we can or can’t control. We spend a long time agonizing over things in our life, but when we look at it closely, a big percentage of our stressors are things that are beyond our control.
Some of the things we can control are your breathing (very important in calming yourself and achieving focus), your mindset (we are responsible for our thoughts), our emotions ( most of the time, our feelings are the results of our reactions), and our health ( what we eat, our exercise routine and habits. The examples are aspects of our life that are determined by our choices and actions.
On the other hand, here are some things which we don’t control: change (it is the only constant thing in life), other people’s opinions (this one is something we don’t have any control of), time (we can’t pause or stop it), and the past (those actions are finished and we can no longer change what happened). These are the things we often stress over because we are likely to forget that these are elements of nature and life that can’t be influenced by mere human abilities.
We have to understand and accept that there are things we can and can’t control. Once we come to terms with that, we can save time and energy and use it for more productive means.
Why learning to let go matters for Traders and Investors
When it comes to trading, you are your own worst opponent. If you fail, it’s almost often because you made poor decisions. It’s not the market’s fault, and you can’t truly blame it on fictitious ideas like luck (plus, let’s face it, you’ll never be a good trader if you believe “luck” is the only way to achieve your goals).
Fear and greed are the two most important emotions to comprehend and control. Fear stems from the knowledge that we can easily lose control of our trading and investing conditions. The markets we engage in are volatile ones and there many surprises on a daily basis. The illusions of having control gives us the false sense that we always know what we are doing and we won’t always make mistakes.
Another major reason that might lead to epic failures is greed. When traders become greedy, they often make poor decisions. One of the biggest mistakes you can make in your trading career is believing that a “sure thing” would make you a lot of money. Greed has the potential to get you into a lot of trouble. Every time you feel yourself becoming greedy, take a step back and maybe take a break before you make a huge mistake.
Emotional swings are another thing you should try to regulate (having your emotions directly tied to the results of your trades). If you’re experiencing emotional swings, it’s because you’re overly invested in your trades. Fortunately, if you can let go of the unpredictable aspect in trading or investing, your emotional swings should go away on their own.
Letting go of the Uncontrollable Factors
Here are some helpful tips to get you started on letting go of the uncontrollable:
- Recognize that some things are beyond your control and that this is not a personal failure. If necessary, write down your emotions to help you process them more effectively.
- It’s difficult to let go of everything at once if you’ve been attempting to control every element of your life. Instead, letting rid of one thing at a time is recommended. Begin with the smallest details.
- Keep your feet on the ground. You’re living in the future by holding on to that need for control. You’re already setting yourself up for disappointment by attaching yourself to expectations. So concentrate on regaining your footing. This could be going for a walk in the woods, calling a buddy, or simply getting out of your house or office.
- Accept and value trust. Belief is synonymous with trust. And believing in yourself entails honoring and respecting yourself. This is when your self-worth comes into play, and you may let go of your urge to be in charge.
- Be open to new experiences. People who want to be in charge of everything are willing to change others and their situations, but not themselves. Changing oneself does not ensure that others will follow your lead. But at the very least, you’ve contributed. In most circumstances, change is more important than control.
Letting Go is wonderful
Authenticity is the daily habit of letting go of who we are and accepting who we are, Brené Brown wrote in The Gift of Imperfections. “Choosing credibility means fostering the courage to become imperfect, setting limits, and making yourself vulnerable.”
In short, accept vulnerability and stop considering it as a weakness. Instead, understand that this means accepting your mistakes and deficiencies. By doing this, you can emphasize your strengths and feel comfortable about who you are.
It’s not enjoyable to have your hopes dashed. However, accepting it as something beyond your control and moving on from it is entirely feasible. When you put everything into perspective, it’s quite straightforward. You’ll feel great calm in no time if you train your brain to practice easy releasing techniques. So go ahead and give it your all. But don’t pin your pleasure, self-worth, or peace on the outcome; you have no influence over it.
Learn how to let go of uncontrollable things even better by tuning in to RockzFX Academy.